my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
