In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
