Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
