he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
