"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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