He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
