New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
