STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't make out with my wife yet
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
