Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
