Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
