I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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