you guys were way drunker than both of me
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
