Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
