Fuck appropriateness.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
