the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The cops high fived after they tackled you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
