My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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