So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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