road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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