worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
