I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
