I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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