You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
