I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
