They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
