Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
