i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize