I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
