HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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