Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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