some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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