He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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