She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize