I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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