I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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