It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
