Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
