Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
