I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize