We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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