Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
