Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
