ugly people sure do ruin things
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
