Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?