Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I cockslap morals

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  (917): I cockslap morals http://tfl.nu/zqeh
  Replies (5) Good night (3079) Bad night (538)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...

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  (516): I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero... http://tfl.nu/d5tx
  Replies (24) Good night (5608) Bad night (635)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Capitaan dildo arrescate!

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  (201): Capitaan dildo arrescate! http://tfl.nu/0s0z
  Replies (40) Good night (2190) Bad night (584)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"

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  (425): he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!" http://tfl.nu/83kf
  Replies (22) Good night (1415) Bad night (11593)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.

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  (573): I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better. http://tfl.nu/vuqb
  Replies (73) Good night (5884) Bad night (800)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop

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  (720): I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop http://tfl.nu/llg8
  Replies (36) Good night (5814) Bad night (1686)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine

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  (412): a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine http://tfl.nu/k37h
  Replies (12) Good night (3552) Bad night (935)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.

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  (267): I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement. http://tfl.nu/314h
  Replies (10) Good night (1330) Bad night (2879)
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  (716): View more from New York

  When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.

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  (716): When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex. http://tfl.nu/mu23
  Replies (14) Good night (3808) Bad night (1047)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.

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  (937): Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car. http://tfl.nu/1lh8
  Replies (7) Good night (536) Bad night (1847)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man

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  (404): He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man http://tfl.nu/p704
  Replies (14) Good night (1722) Bad night (478)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"

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  (214): After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever" http://tfl.nu/g6zr
  Replies (8) Good night (1369) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.

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  (614): Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars. http://tfl.nu/nben
  Replies (0) Good night (859) Bad night (304)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."

  (239): View more from Florida

  I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.

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  (412): wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends." (239): I hope you know that means regardless of their gender. http://tfl.nu/t7uy
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass

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  (614): Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass http://tfl.nu/oo2y
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (560)

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