Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me

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  (317): His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me http://tfl.nu/9tmv
  Replies (9) Good night (580) Bad night (2269) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"

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  (910): i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day" http://tfl.nu/pe7h
  Replies (33) Good night (899) Bad night (2127)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man

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  (214): Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man http://tfl.nu/xuc0
  Replies (16) Good night (4905) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.

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  (405): i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college. http://tfl.nu/j0w5
  Replies (58) Good night (6212) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.

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  (650): Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us. http://tfl.nu/ztab
  Replies (31) Good night (13696) Bad night (890) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail

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  (267): Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail http://tfl.nu/spjw
  Replies (9) Good night (4927) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.

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  (907): I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even. http://tfl.nu/24fg
  Replies (13) Good night (5608) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.

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  (204): You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/qhl9
  Replies (3) Good night (1555) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.

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  (612): she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device. http://tfl.nu/3o4n
  Replies (14) Good night (1984) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.

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  (607): She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine. http://tfl.nu/vfal
  Replies (5) Good night (1644) Bad night (434) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.

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  (414): I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me. http://tfl.nu/n4ee
  Replies (5) Good night (1043) Bad night (461) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?

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  (319): Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls? http://tfl.nu/s1mn
  Replies (13) Good night (1099) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.

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  (347): The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that. http://tfl.nu/bwbw
  Replies (19) Good night (1434) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back

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  (817): We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back http://tfl.nu/9xp2
  Replies (8) Good night (1077) Bad night (925) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym

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  (781): Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym http://tfl.nu/lv47
  Replies (2) Good night (890) Bad night (306) Order T-Shirt

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