You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
