Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  idk but i think it had a face

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  (212): dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night? (1-212): idk but i think it had a face http://tfl.nu/y33v
  Replies (15) Good night (981) Bad night (1623)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband

  (404): View more from Georgia

  did it work?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  nope

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  (678): did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband (404): did it work? (678): nope http://tfl.nu/53k6
  Replies (44) Good night (799) Bad night (2183)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed

  (+44): View more from England

  keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction

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  (+44): if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed (+44): keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction http://tfl.nu/lbnu
  Replies (18) Good night (4741) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick

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  (304): My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick http://tfl.nu/tgso
  Replies (27) Good night (3826) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...

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  (404): i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with... http://tfl.nu/j0qq
  Replies (27) Good night (3956) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.

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  (832): i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life. http://tfl.nu/0m3z
  Replies (29) Good night (1641) Bad night (3347)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."

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  (612): the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear." http://tfl.nu/uaxy
  Replies (19) Good night (9471) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.

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  (360): Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up. http://tfl.nu/js3s
  Replies (14) Good night (5222) Bad night (1383)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.

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  (778): I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm. http://tfl.nu/ttig
  Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (3472)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.

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  (954): I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay. http://tfl.nu/trm1
  Replies (8) Good night (3116) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.

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  (267): I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions. http://tfl.nu/avse
  Replies (7) Good night (1438) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details

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  (425): Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details http://tfl.nu/91yu
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (939): View more from Puerto Rico

  After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep

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  (939): After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep http://tfl.nu/5di1
  Replies (3) Good night (723) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.

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  (712): My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain. http://tfl.nu/1h8o
  Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time

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  (703): We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time http://tfl.nu/duhp
  Replies (0) Good night (605) Bad night (318)

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