Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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