I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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