I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
