ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
