I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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