you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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