I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
