Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
