And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
