im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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