Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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