In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
