we're blogging at a bar
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
