Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize