i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
