the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
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