But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?