i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style