I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.