I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
